It’s rare that I don’t finish a book, but there have been a few. Most recently I put down The Black Swan because I felt it was a poorly written self agrandizing work written so that Taleb could show how smart he was while making up new names for established principles.

Even when I do finish a book, I don’t like everything I read. In many cases my dislike of a book feels fine and I move on to the next read without much thought. Sometimes though I dislike a book that you see recommended regularly so when I don’t find the book good I start to wonder if the problem is me instead of a poorly written book.

In the worst cases, someone has recommended a book and then follows up with me to see if I liked their recommendation. The thing about recommendations is that this is a cherished book, which is why it was recommended. My dislike of a book has brought out strong feelings in others who are then suddenly unhappy with me. I’ve even been told I “don’t get it” and should read the book again.

I didn’t like your recommendation

In the last few years I was recommended Jaws very highly, but I felt it was a dud. My first hint was that the co-author bringing the “science” brain to the equation was none other than Paul Ehrlich of The Population Bomb fame. This book predicted a population explosion that would destabilize the world. We’re long past his predictions but he’s still out there telling us why his new prediction is surely going to come true this time so we should still keep listening to him. The science in Jaws was thin and many of the observations made by the author were little more than thinly veiled eugenics style statements showing their bias.

My most awkward read was The Success Grower which was written by someone in a book club I was part of at the time. While I liked the overall content of the book, I found the dialogue forced numerous times. When I wrote that he reached out to talk with me and was quite pained I wouldn’t give the book a whole-hearted endorsement and wouldn’t change my statement about the language.

Unfortunately the recommender of Jaws has recommended other books to me as well and none of them have been excellent. One was okay, but I wasn’t going to change my writing style to match what was recommended. The other was a rehash of 3 other books I’ve read but with the author’s spin on it, which wasn’t original, but boy did they have a course to sell you.

I don’t like that famous book

Where I question myself the most is when I don’t like books that have mythological status among certain groups of people. The Black Swan falls into this realm, with Taleb being cited all over the place as an excellent author that we should be listening to.

Seven Habits of Highly Effective People is highly recommended but I found that most of the chapters simply play buzzword bingo. Because if it’s mythical status I read some chapters a few times trying to parse out the point and I still had no idea what was being talked about. I struggled to even write a few words in a notebook to prove that I had read the chapter. Yet for some reason Seven Habits makes lists of books you must read.

Another book that I liked, but didn’t find as impactful as anyone else I’ve seen talk about the book is Man’s Search For Meaning. Yes I found the book to be a good read, but the latter part of the book when Frankl dug into Logo Therapy had little value to me.

These last books are the ones that make me question myself as a reader. Am I simply too dumb to understand the target Taleb was aiming readers at with his book? Am I hopeless because Seven Habits didn’t change how I relate to people? Am I a bad person because I won’t tell you that the entirety of Frankl’s book is a must read?

Maybe You’re Right Though

It’s also entirely possible that I’m right and the famous book is a dud. That it only gets pushed because it has some momentum or because the author’s other techno-utopian bros paid for marketing and sing the books praises on their sites. Why do they do this, because they stand to make a bunch of money if the author is right so any push they can make towards people thinking your ideas are good means dollar signs for them.

Maybe you loved a specific book from an author, I loved Deep Work, but then find later books rehash stuff without adding much new to the pool of knowledge. In this case I felt for a long time that I was betraying Newport for finding his later works trivial and more suited to airport book sales than something that had any worthwhile affect on my life. I kept them on my bookshelf for a long time just out of some para-social relationship solidarity founded on the reading of a single book that did have an impact on me.

In the end the only arbiter of a good book is you. Did you like the book? Did it speak to you and help make you a better person? Did you enjoy it, despite the book being panned as “not serious” by others?

This extends to fiction as well. Yes I enjoyed Fourth Wing and no I’m not apologizing for it even though in some circles it’s panned as a generic fantasy book that simply adds some sex. I’ll happily read the next instalment and enjoy it without apology.

Yes I write about reading and books, but I need to drop the fear that someone reading this will think I’m dumb because I didn’t like a book they liked. Much like performative reading goals reading the right books just to “look smart” is performative. Saying you found those “right” books impactful to retain a seat in some fictional intellectual club is performative. My day won’t change if someone reading this thinks I’m not smart and unsubscribes.

My kids will still love me.

My dog will want me to throw her ball.

My wife will still be here.

And those next to us are what matter far more than any internet intellectual points earned by reading and “getting” the right books.