People make mistakes all the time. They start companies they think they can manage. They have grand and bold visions that were a little too grandiose. This is all perfectly fine; it’s what being an entrepreneur or a creative or even a business executive is about. We take risks. We mess up. The problem is that when we get our identity tied up in our work, we worry that any kind of failure will then say something bad about us as a person. It’s a fear of taking responsibility, of admitting that we might have messed up. It’s the sunk cost fallacy. And so we throw good money and good life after bad and end up making everything so much worse. Ego Is the Enemy Loc 2291
When was the last time you quit something? For me, it was just a few weeks ago as I got a new contract for my full-time programming work (which really pays for everything). With this new work landed, I had to quit putting out 3 videos a week on YouTube. I simply can't do all that work and still have any life outside of sitting at my computer.
Yes, I have committed and hung part of my "reputation" on the quantity of content I can get out, but it was apparent in the first week that I couldn't continue to produce at the pace I had set for myself if I wanted to continue to be the father I want to be.
What about Consequences
There are two scenarios for consequences. First, I could just not fulfill my obligations for paid programming work. Yes, I may have more "fun" pretending that YouTube and courses pay for everything but when my kids started asking about some more food in the fridge the "fun" would be gone.
Going the route I've chosen means that it's likely my YouTube channel growth will slow down. With less content being published regularly I have fewer chances to get a "hit" and bring in subscribers/views/revenue.
Now I can mitigate this by putting a bit more work into my thumbnail and title game. I don't like that part of working with YouTube, but if I'm going to be there I should at least play the game decently.
I can increase my reach with good thumbnails and titles so that maybe producing fewer videos won't impact my growth in a meaningful way. It's an extra 10 - 15 minutes to put some more effort into titles and thumbnails, which is far less work than a single extra video takes.
Reading this it seems like it was an easy decision, but I lost sleep over my reputation of getting a bunch of videos out. I didn't want to let people down, people that I've never met and am unlikely to meet. People that don't live with me and don't rely on the income I produce to eat.
I lost sleep over not diving in deep as my channel gets traction. Maybe I'm giving up the only chance I'll ever get.
But that seems far too fatalistic. Sure things may slow down, but membership keeps growing slowly. Courses keep selling and people keep watching videos on YouTube.
In light of that, I'd rather have time to work out, read, and hang out with my kids.
And You?
So, where are you sinking too much self-worth into something your past self committed to? What would it take to say no to it and move on?