Cal Newport regularly says that we assume if a bit of something is good, more must be better. Some connectivity is good, so connectivity all the time must be better. Easy to send text messages make some communication easier, so all communication going through a text must be better.
But I don’t think so and I’ve been slowly taking myself away from connectivity. I no longer have a Facebook account. I don’t Instagram, or Discord, and I’m taking it even further.
Quiet Walks
In part this sounds silly to say, but even if I’m not listening to something when I walk the dog the pull of a phone in my pocket is there. Lately I’ve taken a bunch of walks to get kids from school or to the grocery store with no device in my pocket and even on the busy streets the walk fees more restful.
Cars buzz by on my most direct route to the grocery store, and my breaths feel deeper. I question what part of me knows that no one can get in touch with me until I’m back at home.
Once I get home putting my phone on the kitchen counter and leaving it there is also freeing. I still reach for my pocket regularly, but with nothing in my pocket I catch myself and go sit on the couch to simply sit, or throw the ball in the backyard for the dog, or sit and read a book.
For years I’ve kept my phone muted to all but the immediate family I live with and the schools my children attend, but not even having the phone with me feels even better than it never making noise but being in my pocket all the time.
Extending the feeling
I just ordered a standalone audio player so I can listen to music on my stereo without needing any connection to the world outside my home. Yes I’ll still use streaming to find new music, but then I’ve purchased lossless files that I can enjoy without contributing to any big tech numbers.
Sitting and reading, or simply enjoying music, without needing to interact with devices that have enhanced connection has been wonderful. The same office I’ve been sitting in with the same chairs I’ve had for months suddenly feels more restful than it did a few weeks ago1.
I’m also giving music artists time to tell their story in the album. I wouldn’t dream of reading random chapters of random books that some algorithm recommends me, but I’ve spent much of the last year falling into musical playlists which is essentially the same thing. Random songs that big tech thinks I’ll like followed by another random song.
No this isn’t like the mix-tape or mix-CD from my youth, which was a carefully curated, and often agonised over set of songs that meant something to me. These songs mean nothing to me because I’m hearing them for the first time. Worse, artists and labels pay to have their songs inserted into playlists which is expensive and thus can only be done by big players. That means I’m going to hear less new music from artists that are relatively unknown as the algorithm gets ratings for the paid songs and thus pushes them more to everyone.
Life is busy enough
With my kids being 14, 11, 8 they are in the midst of a very busy time of life. Yes they can get their shoes on without my help, but 2 figure skate and need rides to the arena and one dances which means getting dropped off at dance. I like to ride my bike and I like to be quick so I train, plus the house needs to get cleaned and dogs need to get walked.
I’ve been looking for any way to make parts of my life quieter and removing my phone from the equation as often as possible has been a great way to do this.
How are you making life quieter?
- It’s possible that this is simply because I have new stuff and stuff is exciting but I’m hoping that’s not it. ↩︎