In an ideal world you and your spouse would be on the same page all the time. You’d operate like a well oiled machine. A word here and there would communicate volumes.
But it’s not an ideal world. Despite your overwhelming desire to start a business, your spouse may not be on board with your grand ideas.
What do you do then? Do you forge ahead and build the business in the face of opposition at home? Do you stuff your idea down and never work on it?
It’s often something else
The thing is that with most of the couples I talk to, the lack of support for a new idea is often not directly about the idea. It’s about something else.
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Maybe your spouse had flaky parents that always flitted between ideas that were sure ‘money makers’. The thought of being on that roller coaster again causes pain deep down inside.
Maybe their parents were the outliers that had jobs for 30 years. They paid off their house in 2 years and have been out of debt of any kind for 30 years. The thought of taking on the risk of a business and not having that stability they grew up with is terrifying.
How do you find that out?
First, you need to spend time talking to them. Dig deep and be patient. They may not realize why they feel so strongly that the business is a bad idea. It might be that you both need to go talk to a professional together to dig deep enough to figure it out.
Second, ask yourself if you’ve had a bunch of ideas that never happened. I know I’ve talked at times about building backpacks (yes I love outdoor packs). I’ve talked about lots of other ideas as well. In the midst of all those ideas I’ve also been very clear that they’re dreams and I’m focused on my current business.
Have you tried a bunch of ideas and never stuck to any of them? Have you jumped from idea to idea so often that your spouse rolls their eyes when you have the latest ‘great money maker’ or you have a new ‘passion’ they’ve never heard of?
Both of those scenarios are on you and your spouse can’t be blamed if they don’t put faith in this latest scheme.
In this scenario you’re going to need to show that you’re going to stay the course. Work together to find a small piece of time to dedicate to it and then stick to that little amount of time until you can show that it’s working. Once you’ve shown that the idea has legs your spouse is much more likely to get behind your idea.
It’s still possible that they never come around. You talk and talk and they don’t want to make the sacrifices needed to get the business going. You’ve even talked to some outside professional help together, and you’re at an impasse.
You might still be able to work it out so keep talking, but the one thing I never recommend is that you go ahead behind their back.
I firmly believe that if you succeed in business and fail in your relationships you’ve still failed.
Stay the course and address the dreams they have. Show them how their dreams can fit in with the business you want to run.
For most people, once you’ve addressed their fears, they’re ready to jump behind you and support you as you go bigger than you dreamed you could.
photo by: 100615199@N02