October 23rd, 2020

Divorce and the Dream Job - Friday Notes 121

We're all looking for our "dream job". That job where we get to do interesting work that people see value in. One where we can throw ourselves deep into the work and enjoy the challenge that it presents us daily.

One where we find a state of flow during challenges.

Many of us are searching for the perfect relationship too, but when we think of relationships we're looking for easy. A marriage where we don't have to put in effort, we just get along without even thinking about it. We're looking for a relationship where we can put in no effort and yet reap rewards.

The tweet below from Justin Jackson got me thinking about this idea again.

Seeds almost always sprout where you've been preparing the soil. 🌱

Likewise, good ideas almost always reveal themselves in places where you've put in the groundwork.

First, find fertile ground: industries, sectors, technologies, groups, trends that are showing potential. @mijustin

Your relationships won't be perfect. They'll be hard and need tending. If you let them go without work long enough then you'll have weeds that have overtaken the relationship and you'll have to work hard for a while to get them out.

Some people when faced with the weeds from an untended relationship plan to jump ship because what they have now isn't perfect. They head off looking for that next perfect relationship, and put in lots of effort to be likeable and to figure out if the person sitting across from them is the same.

When both sides are putting out this effort, it's easy to find someone you like. Unfortunately if one of you is in the "perfect relationship" mindset then once you get going a bit you'll be back to the relationship that's full of weeds that you're running away from again.

The perfect relationship is a lie, just like the perfect job is a lie. There are many jobs you can do and be happy with. There are likely many relationships that can make you happy, if you dive in and keep working on them. When challenges come up, you need to dig in and work out the issues which may take months or years to fully work through.

Are you willing to put in the work?

Watch for my upcoming course on Time Blocking on SkillShare. You can also make sure you don't miss any of my content by subscribing

I Shipped

Monday I wrote about what made Drafts work for me. It's a collection of scripts that helped me get back to Drafts and not feel like I was always searching for my writing.

Today you'll find me talking about a book named Pet. It's fiction and it's about not being willing to look at the monsters in our "perfect" life. Quick and powerful read.

I've also had a few posts come out on Nexcess in the last few weeks.

Watch for more developer focused content coming out there.