10 years ago today I married the best woman on earth. Let me tell you what 10 years means to me.

10 years means that I know my best friend better. It means 10 more years of experience with her. It means 10 years of joy and fun. It means the thought of not having her around brings tears to my eyes. It means she fills a hole in my life and I am more complete with her.

10 years means that I don’t fear that reliance on another person. Yes, I’ll be let down but like a muscle each break down means we grow stronger together as we work to repair.

10 years means that we have had our share of problems. We fought and acted selfishly. At times each of us has sought what was in our personal best interest instead of what was in the best interest of us as a couple.


10 years means that we have sorted through those problems with some measurement of success. It means that we ultimately decided selfishness wasn’t really in our best interest, a healthy marriage was.

10 years means we each gave up lots of stuff. Each of us gave up a myriad of possibilities that were not compatible with a married life. Each of use gave up opportunities that may have seemed to good to pass up. Each of us has decided over and over that the experience of sharing life together was the best opportunity for a happy life.

10 years has brought us 1 dog and 1 daughter. Each of these additions brought us special joy in their season. They also brought with them sacrifice. A dog meant getting out of rock climbing, or at least no longer choosing to make it a priority. A child means that we can’t go travel around BC scouting random kayaking destinations. We choose to spend time with our child and each other instead.

10 years means that I don’t regret the changes from an adventurous 20 year old in to a father. My life is so much richer spending it nurturing my family. None of the amazing things I’ve done brings me anywhere near the level of lasting joy as being a father and husband. Seeing a smile on my daughter’s face or doing something extra special for my wife makes my heart beat faster and makes me smile more than running any waterfall or raging river has ever done.

10 years feels like a long time, even though the adventure together is still beginning. When we look at many of our friends that should have been celebrating 10 years with their partner this year, I’m sad to say that 50% or more will not be. None of them had a crazy relationship you’d read about in the papers, they just decided that they’d live for themselves before living for each other.

10 years makes me sit back and think, that I’ve had an amazing 10 years with someone that completes me.

Cynthia, I love you.

2 responses to “10 Years with a Woman I Love”

  1. michelle "felix" Avatar

    Curtis, this is amazing. as someone who is now at 10.5 years i understand and completely agree with everything you wrote but transfer the person to dan. (and add 1 cat and another kid). marriage is not easy, and unfortunately people think it should be, i love your honesty, in the few words here.
    so glad that you and Cynthia fight for your marriage, and as parents, for your daughter as well.
    keep fighting.
    you are an example to what it means to stay true in sickness and health, for better or for worse…etc.
    happiest decade to you as a couple.

    1. Curtis McHale Avatar
      Curtis McHale

      Cynthia and I were just talking about you two being half a year ahead of us. Makes us very happy to think of our friends that have decided to make it work.