Enjoyed this TED talk
Here are my notes that will be in my research for long term findability of the video.
- 3:00 the world says that men must reject anything feminine or be subject to ridicule by their peers
- and men learn this young
- 3:45 we must start embracing the more feminine aspects of ourselves
- 5:00 being “soft” and in touch with your emotions subjects us to abuse at the hands of our peers
6:00 why do we think we have to go it alone and not tell other men that we are hurting. Why can’t we tell others something real about our relationships and where we’re at and our insecurities
8:00 to practice vulnerability we need to practice authenticity unfortunately for men, most of the people that align with it are women which doesn’t help affirm that men should NOT be open about their emotions with other men.
10:20 publicity men reject the role of anything feminine and “play” masculine
11:40 it’s okay for men to follow men being manly, but if they talk about feelings or how much they love their family then men don’t show up.
13:50 will you be man enough to say something about “locker talk” to tell your friends that talking about “grabbing ass” is not okay
- reminds me of the cycling guys on that one ride they did some cat calls
15:50 because of the training we get as kids, men are all likely part of the problem despite their best efforts so they need to keep digging deeper and being vulnerable so that they can get better.
One response to “Done Being Man Enough”
Yeah, all of this. It’s only recently that this mindset has come around. If you dig deep enough, you’ll find that being feminine is an insult. “Gay”, “F*****”, “P****” — these are all insults that men and boys use to hurt each other. Being perceived as “weak” by the pack makes boys fall in line, and learn that toxic, roid rage, locker room talk type of “masculinity” that is unhealthy.
We must choose to live lives that are healthy, learning that strength does not mean the ability to tear others down, but to build them up.